Perfect Beginnings

presented by

Dear Bride, I Don’t Like It When…

Posted By on March 8, 2012

Dear Bride,

I don’t like it when…

your parents miss out on your wedding day. When your mom is rushing around on the wedding day trying to get everything done instead of enjoying herself, she’s not the mother of the bride. She’s unpaid help! When I see your mom never sitting down to eat or socializing with family and friends because she’s too busy making sure everything is going well in the kitchen, or with the candy table, it just breaks my heart.  And your dad should NEVER eat his reception dinner in the kitchen instead of with his family because he had to play the part of waiter at your wedding due to poor planning.  Your mom and dad are missing out on the special moments of the day (watching you transform from daughter to wife, cutting the cake, first dance, tossing the bouquet) and also missing the moments they look forward to celebrating and enjoying as parents of the bride! You probably didn’t mean to do this – but you have stolen their joy. You got in over your head with those little DIY projects (mason jars, favors and table runners) that required more time than you anticipated which left your mom, dad and siblings and friends scrambling up until the last minute getting everything done, organized, and in place. NO! NO! NO! Don’t put your family or your friends through this! Don’t even expect to! Hire me to organize you. Hire me to help you develop a plan of attack for your DIY projects so they don’t come around and bite you in the “boo-boo.” I’m here to help you – not to do your DIY projects – but to make you accountable to get them done. I’m here so I can give you a kick in the butt to work on them – when it’s still fun to do them – so by the time your wedding day arrives, no one is frantically running around. I want you to have a fun and memorable wedding day and to see your parents enjoying themselves.

 

you don’t have an opinion. This is YOUR day. How can you say, “I don’t care?” I don’t want to plan your wedding for you…then it wouldn’t be your wedding. It would be mine. I already had my wedding, thank you. Maybe you’re afraid to voice your own opinion for fear of disappointing your parents. Maybe it’s that you’re afraid of saying what you really want because you might hear that you can’t have it. Maybe it’s because you really don’t know what you want and would rather push the decision to someone else. You know what? That’s OK. That’s why I call you. To talk. I want you to talk to me. I need you to talk to me. I’m here for you and your groom. I want to know what you’d really like to have on your wedding day. We are a team! Together we find ways to work through your budget to get what you really want to have. Together we will sift through all the wedding “stuff” out there and find your vision. Together we’ll find your voice and help you stand confident in your decisions. But, please…CARE about your wedding day!

 

you leave me out of the loop. I can not do a good job for you if you cut me out of the planning. I’m not talking about calling me up for every move you make, but I do need to know that you’re on track with dress purchases, invitation ordering, DIY projects, vendor selection, etc. When you don’t stay in touch with me, I’m left guessing. I will call you to see where you are at and if I’m always the one calling, I will seem like a nag. Just send me an email periodically letting me know where you’re at in the grand plan. And PLEASE….return my calls and respond to my emails. When you don’t respond, not only is it rude, but you’re making it harder for me to do my job. If I’m left out of the loop, I can’t help you. I need contact information for venues & vendors. I need contact info for your bridal party. I need copies of your contracts and rental agreements. I need to hear your brainstorming and planning so I can see what you see. I need to be on the same page as you. If you don’t tell me things, it’s like walking in the dark on your wedding day. You hired me to do a job – let me do it! You’re NOT losing control of your wedding. You’re actually gaining more control by letting go.

 

you expect me to lower my price. I understand “the economy” stinks right now and everyone is “on a tight budget.” Who isn’t these days? But when you spend 80% of your budget on a venue and catering and then come to me say MY prices/packages are too expensive, that’s not my fault. I don’t care how gorgeous the venue is…only 45-50% (maximum) of your wedding budget should be spent on food and venue expenses. Putting all of your eggs in one basket is budget mismanagement. I want to help you for your wedding but don’t expect to negotiate with me on my price AFTER you’ve already tipped the scales. Your financial stress could have been avoided had you come to me first. I would have given you a budget breakdown to help you discern what to spend in each category. I would’ve found vendors to fit your style and budget. I’m an asset to have on your planning team. I’m not the cheapest, no. But I AM good at what I do. I know what I am worth. I charge what I need to make to pay my childcare provider when I work your wedding. I charge what I need to make to pay my business expenses. Yes! I do have them!!  Just because I work out of a home office doesn’t mean I don’t have business expenses. What’s left over is for me. I’m sure you understand that as a working woman. You bring home your paycheck, pay your expenses, and you have some left over for you. How would you feel if your boss asked you to work for less because the company is on a tight budget? If you want someone “cost effective” (translation = cheap) because you’re on a tight budget I’m sure there is someone out there who will fit into your tight budget. But you will get what you pay for. When you want wedding planning/coordination and want a job well done so you don’t end up in paragraph number 1, expect to pay!! Otherwise expect to have a stressed-out mom and dad, non-existent bridesmaids and maid of honor, and anyone else who has to run around on your wedding day trying to do what I have done for over a decade.


About The Author

Darlene is a homeschool mother to her 3 children, a music/voice teacher, coffee fanatic and owner/founder of TaylorMade Weddings. She has earned the title of Best Wedding Planner for Winchester, VA in 2013 from Virginia Wedding & Event Network. Her passion, commitment to excellence and attention to detail has allowed her to work alongside some of the most talented vendors in the event business all over the state of Virginia. Her clients are one of a kind and her service is tailored to meet their individual needs. Darlene is also on the panel of experts at "Pop the Question" where she mentors couples planning their own celebrations.

Comments

3 Responses to “Dear Bride, I Don’t Like It When…”

  1. Kudos! I couldn’t have said it better. Love this!

  2. Darlene says:

    Thanks for the comment, Kisha. Best Wishes!

  3. […] who’s on the ice? The couple is. It’s their show! Not the trainer’s. I wrote an open letter to brides, “Dear Bride, I Don’t Like it When…,” where I discuss how important it is […]

Leave a Reply